Often after a big night out at a play party or other event, you can feel a drop in energy, little gremlins in the back of your head feeling sorry for yourself, or just feeling blue. When opening to another person, it can be vulnerable and exciting. Make sure you're taking care of yourself by asking for what you need before, during and after play.
Here are a few tips for mitigating those hard feelings after having such a fun time.
BEFORE
State clear intentions for your play. Creating a clear container for what you're doing and for how long can help soften any expectations after the play is complete.
Don't get confused. Play parties are for play, dates are for dating, relationships are relationships. Just like love is love, sex is sex, and relationships are relationships. All these different aspects of relating can get collapsed sometimes. Try to stay clear and see where you might be getting one confused for the other.
DURING
Negotiate your boundaries. This is both for physical projection, like STD prevention, and emotional protection, like what has you stay clear that you're on the same page with the other person. Knowing their relationship status and what playing together means to both of you is helpful.
AFTER
Avoid the creepy crawlies in your head. You just shared a huge part of yourself with someone...or someone's, and now you are home, alone, with your head and a bunch of chocolate. That can be a dangerous combination. To avoid the post-party drop, we recommend asking a couple of your playmates to call and check in on you a day or two after the event. This can create a huge pillow of softness for your landing back into your day-to-day life.
You're welcome trusties!
Here are a few tips for mitigating those hard feelings after having such a fun time.
BEFORE
State clear intentions for your play. Creating a clear container for what you're doing and for how long can help soften any expectations after the play is complete.
Don't get confused. Play parties are for play, dates are for dating, relationships are relationships. Just like love is love, sex is sex, and relationships are relationships. All these different aspects of relating can get collapsed sometimes. Try to stay clear and see where you might be getting one confused for the other.
DURING
Negotiate your boundaries. This is both for physical projection, like STD prevention, and emotional protection, like what has you stay clear that you're on the same page with the other person. Knowing their relationship status and what playing together means to both of you is helpful.
AFTER
Avoid the creepy crawlies in your head. You just shared a huge part of yourself with someone...or someone's, and now you are home, alone, with your head and a bunch of chocolate. That can be a dangerous combination. To avoid the post-party drop, we recommend asking a couple of your playmates to call and check in on you a day or two after the event. This can create a huge pillow of softness for your landing back into your day-to-day life.
You're welcome trusties!
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