Having clear sex partner communications is a big part of being a Trustable Slut. You practically need to be a communications ninja to navigate the waters of multiple sex partners, your own emotional well-being, and the partners of your partners. You can definitely get into a big tangled mess real quick.
Being a communication ninja can help head off all kinds of potential problems, not to mention keeping your sex life super flowing. I've found that there's nothing that turns off my libido quicker than withholding hurt feelings or being scared to tell someone something for fear of disconnection.
Here's one suggestion when faced with a potentially emotionally triggering conversation.
Step 1: Let the other person know you're worried about telling them something that might be emotionally triggering.
"I want to tell you something that happened on my date the other night that I have some worry might trigger some difficult feelings. I get so scared sometimes because I don't want anything to come between us."
Step 2: Ask if they want to hear the potentially emotionally triggering thing now or later.
"Is now a good time to talk about this?"
If yes, go on.
If no, ask when a good time would be.
Acknowledging your fear and letting them know you want to stay connected more than anything will help him be more connected to your vulnerability about this event. It also prepares their nervous system to hear the news. Getting consent to hear surprising news is another huge win for you. Now they have a choice in the matter and are prepared to hear from you.
Being a communication ninja can help head off all kinds of potential problems, not to mention keeping your sex life super flowing. I've found that there's nothing that turns off my libido quicker than withholding hurt feelings or being scared to tell someone something for fear of disconnection.
Here's one suggestion when faced with a potentially emotionally triggering conversation.
Step 1: Let the other person know you're worried about telling them something that might be emotionally triggering.
"I want to tell you something that happened on my date the other night that I have some worry might trigger some difficult feelings. I get so scared sometimes because I don't want anything to come between us."
Step 2: Ask if they want to hear the potentially emotionally triggering thing now or later.
"Is now a good time to talk about this?"
If yes, go on.
If no, ask when a good time would be.
Acknowledging your fear and letting them know you want to stay connected more than anything will help him be more connected to your vulnerability about this event. It also prepares their nervous system to hear the news. Getting consent to hear surprising news is another huge win for you. Now they have a choice in the matter and are prepared to hear from you.
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